SOMETIMES I STILL DREAMED MY EX. SHE IS CUTE, BUT I AM EVIL. I HAVE NOTHING TO SAY.
it’s promising that the piano musician is so cute, beautiful, confident and humour. Mr mountain she said.
and singing in choir is hard, let alone i need learn how to read the notes more properly.
xool. a lot to learn!
it’s very strange that whenever i helped people IN bona fina i got bad lucks. i reflected my life: my best ages were when i totally was crazy for myself, my clients and my gfs. people respected me, loved me, and i enjoyed all kinds of best foods, best vocations, best vilas, best services, around the country then. and me and my gf were happy. so happy.
however, when i tried to help people selflessly bona fida charitably, trying to be a good man but not a rogue, people stabbed, slandered me behind my back, let alone they didn’t thank me any but took for granted. oh how do you know that, that fucking works, thanks why you know this, or even worse, hey you need to give me more i demand you (not humbly at all), that’s so amazing. and even wise friends don’t really care, even though they knew they took the irony as jokes, ah aye this is my personal problem, so this is only a joke though.
People in ring fail to use basic principles. All the time.
My worst/ humblest weakness is my grappling, so let’s take it for example. I once grappled with a grappler in a national-level event. He wore a blackbelt something, preparing a fight. I said I could play with him. He said he doesn’t want to hurt me, but if I ask for it, so we started. When standup, I countered his takedown at first. But since he relentlessly wanted to take me down, I letted him execute legs takedown and I secured a closed guard on the ground. Then again, he focused relentlessly controlling my body, head. I heard that his lower body sometimes stood up, sometimes went back. He might think I would get him an armbar, so he focused on, relentlessly again, my upper body, including shoulders sometimes. When he was tired and hesitated, I swept him over, getting him an kimura and tilted my angle, then he tapped. After that he and his teammates excused that they focused only on gi, that they were very professional, and then asked my name, wanted to connect with me in facebook.
Aye, I don’t have any belt in grappling, but the world acted as if I am the lucky pastor, that people around him confessed their excuses. Why I won? I only applied basic principles in practices, as he only cared about wining. He wasn’t paying attention about guard’s space, as he tried all his energy to attempt a hold, and imagined I would trap him into armbar. In fact I don’t care about all that matters. I escaped by creating space. With space, I could do whatever I want: armbar or transform position. He wasn’t aware of space issue, but only focusing on submission attempts/ defenses that he thought he would succeed/ encounter, then I capitalised his ego and intent.
By the way, Taiwanese fighters are always very prideful. In fact, they were encouraged acting like that. “Sometimes it’s good to be pride.” If you are American ring players who were encouraged to love and respect each other, you couldn’t imagine such a culture mentioned.
So, why not learn so many tricks, but forget the basic principles? In fact, this applied also in technology, tinkering, hacking, programming, algorithms and data structures, if you know what I meant.
Again, to focus on basic principles is one of the most underestimated virtues. Hope this helpful.
(if TL;DR, jump to FT)
I don’t have martial arts training background when I was young, unlike most lucky chads, though many friends when I was younger would generously teach me something in their orthodox systems or street fights. The reason, that I don’t fear any black belts in tkd, judo, kata, or bigger, stronger guys, or athletic boxing team opponents, is for their advantages – reflex actions, patterns, etc – sometimes lead to backfires. On the contrary, I have no setups or scenarios inherited directly from coaches or teachers; I am not full of muscles, nor good at conditioning; I was not at all a sport kid when I was young – no talent, I was a total geek who played no ball games. I survive because of some flows and methods concerning only realistic situations. And I am thanksful, for all friends, people, opponents, or even haters. Especially, thankful for my lifelong teacher –master Yu who offered me full sponsorship and his love when I was college. Also I am thankful that Forrest Griffin sparred with me, letting me understand what is one of the best UFC p4p bad arses in the world like! (Of course, I am still more than willing to learn from anybody. Since I already got my PhD offer in Cyber Security, if I study in USA, I will back to cage no matter how busy. )
MMA to me is about pragmatisms. This is one of the realest things in the world. Appearance doesn’t matter as much as other fields. To me it could be generalised into 5 frozen tips. With continuous visualisations, combinatrics drills, sparrings, trainings, fighters can focus on this only 5 goden tips in order of –when fighting– clearing their natural pressure and noise from their heads, so as to relax more, progress more, recover quicker. Here is my frozen tips about MMA:
- Strikes - all about timing and distance
- Takedowns - all about breaking balance, and about yin-yang
- Ground and pounds - all about ground and efficiency
- Grappling - all about nearness and smallness
- Combining - all about utilising momentum and saving energy
Hope this helpful for everyone.
99% of people, especially when you in ring fighting have self-condemning nature—because mma could be one of the realest things in the world. ironically they make excuses all the time, also because of the self-condemning nature, no matter how big they are, or how many black belts they have.
For some reasons, i don’t have this human nature, and i keep away from this human nature, perhaps one of the reasons is my childhood. since i was a child, nobody would listen to me, so i have to encourage myself, rather than to condemn; nobody would comfort me, so i cried not, nor complain; throughout my childhood i have to be tough proving myself in everything, for nobody was with me; thanks to the relentless attacks from my own family, i had to earn respect by my hands and will. it formed my blood and bones.
To me, technique isn’t the most important, neither is muscle or physical conditions, but mind, because mind could change your muscle, physical conditions, and indeed techniques. if you have no background like me, you have no formula, tips, physical conditionings, muscles — nothing — from daddy or master to look up, then you have to create your own space by your will. you need you have to be smarter, harder, tougher, more optimistic than anyone else. you also need to be more THANKSGIVING for everyone who’s willing to help you, love you, or even hurt you, for all that builds you up no matter what once you survive.
(Also don’t dwell in the past, no matter it was sweet or bitter. no one cares. and even if someone cares, you don’t need to care. lol. past is past. you only focus on your present moment. most people on earth live in the past or in the future or both, and have emotions upon their scenario. that’s not living imo, but i can’t judge; your decision. )
Optimistic in difficult time isn’t easy. removing all the emotions and egos is hard, too. but we can try our best focusing on those we can control, as i always said. i don’t care the results so-called win-or-lose: results are just integers or logic gates, if you know what i meant. i care only about progressing and actions. be a monk, knocking the bell everyday. don’t quit.
Life is lonely, but long, as people thought that’s crowded, but short.
If Edwin and Rudi lived in another world, they might be isolated, destroyed. In this world, they were invincible, impeccable, strong, with their frost monk or fire mage abilities. Without those abilities, perhaps in a world, they were just a pity, miserable and marred, for, after all, they were lonely by nature. Their loneliness came from their principles. People were not so clean, yet make white lies or cheat everyday, as Rudi and Edwin’s personal principles allow them not. They were different, while the difference from majority, especially major sins, is a curse. A curse that isolates you from others, where people could call upon you, Not Normal, sometimes even Stupid or Unwise.
Of course, they expected friends and lovers. But the human natures would deviate their friends and lovers. Lies, Hatreds, Infidelity, Betrays, Backstabbing. That’s normal. No normal one can prevent from those sins, yet Rudi and Edwin can’t even join the natural sins that grant the two blessing of “normal”, and that curse the two into lonely.
Rudi was usually cold. Edwin was usually heated. But they were both lonely.
Everyone in this world knew dragons were deceitful. But how about human kinds? Can they really trust each other? The answer is simple.
Dreams can divide into reflected or stored. Reflected dreams were triggered by stems, events, feelings, such as a radon pain feeling in the past that you forgot what actually it was. They were not preventable, nor intend-able. Stored dreams were generated by desires, daydreams, aspirations, such as a specific pain that you remembered, or made up.
Warlocks or shadow dragons were masters of dreams, especially those who were recognised as “guru of dreams”. They could bring dreams to life. When a dream was brought to life, it could be a dispellable buff, or indeed, debuff. Dangerous burdens of hallucinations were they, making the victims fall, due to “their own decisions”. Unnoticeable.
Apparently, despite empowerment of their abilities, both Rudi and Edwin were prone to dispellable curses, debuffs. Rudi’s was his love, hope for family. Edwin’s was his fear, unwillingness for being utilised.
They were fair but tough in their opposite ways, one cold, one heated. Yet they shared similar vulnerabilities. They were victims in their past; unfortunately, might also in their futures.
What was waiting for them? Was that danger? Could their abilities protect them? No one ever knew at this moment. The four tortollan bartenders and the druid, along with all other customers if they paid attention around their faces, had no clues of the two: the drunk, sleepy fire mage, and the sorrowful, sweepy frost monk. Time froze.
Now, Rudi relied on protection, yet Edwin relied on aggression. Their blindfolds were obvious.
The elixir of the healing of the two might be “the pride equilibrium”. The mage used to pride-generated energy, having too much pride, whilst the monk used to pride-restraint energy, having too little pride. Should they find the equilibrium in their opposite hearts, they might solve the same problem in opposite directions. But this was just a thought, anticipation. You never know.
“Sometimes you are really too soft.” Edwin sipped his wine.
“Aye, sometimes I really have problem of judgements. ” Rudi quaffed his nip of whisky.
“You just can’t face the truth, that somebody sometimes cannot be saved. You thought you can forgive. How about your own survival? ” Edwin said.””
“Aye. “ Rudi.
“You thought you can handle that. Sometimes you thought you can heal them. No, you not, but just cost your own life. ”Edwin continued, “You really should have your own family, in lieu of extending your love whimsically. ” Edwin put and concluded.
“O why are you always so wise. ” Rudi.
“For I burn and cleanse. ” as Edwin joked, he continued “You really need. You have to. ”
“Mayhaps.” Rudi quaffed another nip of whisky.
Here is the bar under water, supported by magic of torsollans. The owners were Leonardo, Donatello, Michelingelo, and Raphael. They were ninjas before they retired and owned this bar. They were all good bartenders, though both Rudi and Edwin didn’t bought any cocktails. O, maybe Rudi’s scotch could be regarded as a “blended cocktail before distillery”?
They drank cup after cup, bottle after bottle, until the sunrise in the other day.
“Look at that. You are drunk. ” Rudi put.
“No I didn’t! “ Edwin said.
“Hah ha. Look at you. ” Rudi.
“No no, I don’t. Buddy. ” as Edwin said, he snored, happened put his left hand his finger hand in front of his mouth, breathed a fire.
“Woh woh woh. Hey! Gentlemen! ” Raphael said.
“Edwin, don’t burn our small piece of ma and pa, ok? ” Leonardo added.
Then Leonardo, Donatello, Michelingelo, Raphael, Rudi and Edwin all laughed.
“You know your problem? “ Edwin continued, “your grandpa. Your code of love, care and forgive. But our world is not that clean, but filthy. So you need continuously lie to yourself. You love even your enemies when they want to hurt you. You can read the airs, but you let others cheat you, for you lie to yourself and justify their evildoings. “
“You are talking about subconsciousness. “ Rudi said.
“And I won’t let them control, bother, hurt and burden me, if I were you. “ Edwin continued, “I would cleanse my problems with flames. I save myself before saving others. Let alone someone you cannot save due to their own decisions. “
“So what’s your problem, Edwin?” said Donatello.
“We want to find someone. ” said Edwin.
“You who? ” said Donatello.
“Sadly, we don’t know. ” Edwin.
“Hmm. Interesting. ” Donatello.
“A dragon claimed an identity unto Edwin, and deceived an important possession. Unto same location, where he claimed to be a king, we found him not. They’re gone, both our thing and this guy. ” Rudi.
“Dragons? They are usually deceitful. Everybody knows, especially when they thought cheating on human kinds no big deal. “ Donatello.
“And we got to find our thing. ” Rudi.
“What kind of thing? “ Donatello.
“A shoulderguard. ”Rudi.
Then Donatello ruminated. said Wiping the cup, Michelingelo added, “usually, when a dragon got a thing from you, you can’t trace it back. ”. Leonardo then said, “In fact, Raphael also lost a thing from dragons. For decades, you had found it til we faced the reality. ”
Michelingelo said, “man, they are socerers, if not powerful then them. They had skins and armours. They casted magic, yet required no casting time, unlike human-kind mages. You could kill them, but well, they are tough guys. ”
Donatello said, “their invasions were thru-o history of human kind. The origin of eastern new year was also due to them. You know, they were no folklores. They were true stories. Nians killed and ate children for snacks. Human kinds don’t eat young monkeys for snacks, for monkeys are smart and have emotions. But for dragons, they can’t care less. Eat eat eat. Cheat cheat cheat. They thought everything belongs to them. ”
Rudi said, “my friend can cast spells instantly, and he wears artefact armours. I guard him, as he fires, all of dragons burn. “
Leonardo said, “sounds like a plan. Hah. “
Rudi then approached to a girl, saying, “your eyes are not jewellery, are they? “
The girl laughed, answered, “well. This line is not impressive. “
“This is not a line, but an objective observation. “ Rudi.
“Whoa? Are you kidding me? “ said the girl.
“Rudi. “ said Rudi.
“Seraphine. “ said the girl.
“Good name but long, like your hairs. “ said Rudi.
“What brings you here? “ said Seraphine.
“Wind. “ Rudi nodded, “cold wind in eternal ice. “
“Ah… “ Seraphine.
“Not yet in Seraphine’s eyes. “ Rudi put.
“So what do you drink, tonight? “ Rudi.
“Burning Insects juice, I guess? “ Seraphine.
“That’s sweet, right, Leonardo? Not a pro in cocktails, let alone your profound naming system. “ yelled Rudi.
“Definitely. Why don’t you try even one in our bar. You are boring, ordering the same whisky all the time. “ Leonardo.
“No. I won’t. “ yelled Rudi, then he told unto Seraphine in his usual low, cold voice, “alright. I just want to say your eyes are petty. Nice to see them. “
“Well. Thank you. “ Seraphine put, eyeing on Rudi continuously.
Rudi got back seat. Edwin said, “are you kidding me? What are you doing. “
“That’s enough. I just want to say thanks, for her eyes brighten my night. “ replied Rudi.
“Come on! “ said Edwin, “ she’s interested in you! “
“No she doesn’t. And whatever. “ said Rudi. Then they talked about all kind of things, such as work, missions, memories. Also they talked to the owners of the bar. They tortollans were pretty old.
Later, the girl approached him, “you are kind of funny. What you do? “
“We are finding a dragon, or a group of dragons. “ said Rudi, “yet we still did nothing, til we have clues. “
“What for? They are rogues. “ she said.
“Our item was deceived, “ said Rudi.
“No change for you to take back. “
“Did you hear any dragons, occasionally? “
“I am not sure. “
“Are you a resident here? “
“Yes, I live here since I was born. “
“How old are you? “
“15 years younger than I. “
“Really. You look young. “
“Don’t bald, moustache look old? “
“No but look cold. Like you said, you were brought by cold winds. “
“Well but thou art starting melting me. “
“Actually I am a Druid. “
“So you know instinct. “
“A bit. “
“You prefer instinct or fate? “
“I meditate every night for our thing. “
“Oh come on. What so important? And you have no chance. “
“Summon your flame blade. “
“Summon. Try me. “ Rudi said.
Then the girl smiled, beamed, as if been flirted. She hesitated a second, “alright. “ then she was summoning the fire element, a very important spell in so-called equilibrium arts, before structuring any so-called the wraths of nature. Then she formed the element into a flame blade unto her beautiful brown meticulously amber-like right hand.
“Pretty… “ said Rudi.
Then the girl stroke him with the blade, smiling. That’s a big but artless blow, for she predicted Rudi to dodge, while he didn’t. The blade cut thru the body. “Oh… sorry. “ she was shocked, but right in another second, she was shocked even worse. Her blade was frozen for some reason. What? Impossible.
“…Much. “ said Rudi, “I like your hand. “ Rudi continued to tease the girl, “jewellery eyes, amber-like hand… anything else beautiful? “
“How can it be… flame blade is one of the most destructive and stable weapon in my wrath of nature. Let alone it cannot be dispelled. “ said the girl, trembling.
“Now, may we have a chance, “ Rudi paused, “… against dragons? “ said Rudi. The girl was stunned, also stunning, so he got the girl with one big step closer. He stopped, gently, yet firmly, kissing her forehead, as he couldn’t help himself. He continued, coldly and lowly, “You smell good. “
He paused again, “so, did you really not hear anything related to dragons? “
“Actually, I… “ the girl nervously stammered, “acknowledged a clan of dragons here. Not precisely, I meant. Wait… Let me think. “
Idled Rudi, smiling.
Then she continued, “you are really strange. “
With beam wore, Rudi coked a bit, “You are strange, too. ”
Suddenly, didn’t know why, Rudi recalled, or even missed, his ex-wife. They were together for more than 8 years. Before she left her, she said, Have been unhappy for many years with you the wrong guy, while Rudi didn’t know any single sign. After she left him for 3 months, she said unto him, I have been seeing someone else now, good bye Rudi, focus on yourself. Yet how could Rudi focus on his hollow self?
He hoped her everything fine, yet still felt painful, for he loved her so much, so deep, more than himself. She commented their relationship as “Wicked Love”, and he didn’t know why. He tried his best to complement her, comfort her, even in arguments. But it turned out, those were just perfunctory communications in her sights and ears.
Maybe, to her, he is just someone who didn’t know the art of words, and no reason for this to work out. Let alone she threatened him occasionally, and sued him. Still, full of sweet memory were in his minds. To Rudi, sourness cannot bury sweeties. Apparently, her ex-partner had different opinion. After all, he knew she forgot him as she said, yet he still occasionally recalled her, or missed her, like this moment.
“Hey, are you okay? ” said Seraphine.
“I don’t know. “ said Rudi.
It was a huge waterfall. Rudi passed first, watching. He seemed to see dragons, but he wasn’t sure.
Dragons were powerful animals, but still animals. Their power came from each their special talents when they decided their “path” or alignment. For example, shadow dragons knew how to hide themselves and how to manipulate minds. That was the profession as Warlock came from. Human kinds learnt from dragons, a lot. But in turn, dragons regarded human kinds sort of “pettable” animals. Usually they used human kinds for their own profits. Indeed, human kinds also learnt and improved their sinful tricks from dragons.
So Rudi wasn’t sure whether there was a dragon, due to, if any, shadow tricks from shadow dragons. He could read the airs, so he started to predict: “20%”
As he got closer and closer, he assured more and more.
“What the hack are you doing? “ Edwin yelled abruptly.
“Shh, they were near. “
“Some dragons. I am sure now. “ Rudi.
“Don’t fear. I am blood-oathed. “
As Edwin concluded as such, Rudi couldn’t explain, for it’s dangerous to be distracted now. Dragons, despite also a specie of mortal animals, were unpredictably powerful.
“Do you know how close you came to getting yourself shot? “ a dark, low-pitch, loud voice came thru the airs until it hit Rudi’s ears. Aye, 100% there were dragon, or dragons.
Rudi started to mediate, finding more than one dragon near. 1, 2, 3…, oh, maybe 10.
“I did once I saw your gun or magic at my face… Joking, no offence. “ Rudi replied in the same low-pitch, coldly.
“How dare you?! “ dragons roared.
“Here is a misunderstood. My apologies, Brothers. I am actually blood-oathed with your king. “ Edwin said shortly, eloquently.
“What the hell blood are you mentioning? Mortal in armour. And which king do you suggest? Do you know our society? Burger King? “ one dragon said.
Edwin paled. He didn’t expect that.
“Why don’t you guys get away from us before my friend grills you into crispy yummy dragon chips? “ Rudi said, again, coldly and confidently. Dragons never saw such rudeness. Perhaps that’s why Rudi was named for.
“Well. Well. Well. Interesting. But you are right. We decide to either kill you both, or take away all the possessions of you both. What is your call? “ one dragon said.
“Do you see any gear in me? Big guy, oh, big guys. “
“You never know. We can see thru your dead bodies if you don’t mind. What’s your call? “ Another dragon added.
“I hope no trouble. Why don’t you just go away now? ” Rudi.
“I am afraid not. ” Dragon replied.
“Please go away and make peace. ” Rudi.
“You fear? ” Dragon.
“You feel that way? ” Rudi.
“No…. that’s strange. ” Just as a dragon answered as such, another two dragons threw shadow bolts, and two dragons shadow danced into the back of Rudi, backstabbing with their shadow claws.
Rudi knew that, freezing the bolts crossing the zone radius of 5 m around him, and dodging the two stabbings.
“Art ye serious? Lads? ” Just as Rudi said, he started the storm of kicks and fists. The shadow bolts were reflected, and the stabbing dragons got hurt, with one wing broken in one dragon’s body. The shadow bolts flew back unto the shooters, hurting them. Rudi breathed alcohol disorienting the dragons near then, kicking thru the way unto the shooters. He touched his fingers, if not jabbed, into the skins of two dragons, as they seemed poisoned by ice.
“Edwin? ” Rudi said.
“What have I done… I fear… ”
“Don’t fear. Edwin. It happened. We will figure it out later. Now we are in combat. ” Rudi.
“I can’t think. “
“Then show your anger. ” Rudi.
Still idle, Edwin stood with a sorrowful and regretful face, thinking about his Legendary Artefact shoulderguard “blood-oathed and saved”, but responding not. Other dragons jerked some attacks, magic or gun, at Edwin. Rudi froze the attacks for Edwin, and dashed unto Edwin for “catching” the assaults for Edwin with his body.
“Who are you… human kind. ” One dragon marvelled at Rudi.
“Wake up, Edwin. You are just in self-doubt. Be not! Back to life! ” Rudi whispered, but Edwin could hear that. As Rudi got hit, or caught the assaults with his body, he buffeted on the ground vigorously with his left palm, if not violently. The ground cracked, with some into ice flakes.
“This guy is crazy. ” One dragon added.
“What you did? ” One dragon asked.
“I programmed, debugging,. You are the bugs. Now you can still leave, if you don’t want to get hurt. “ Rudi said.
“Alright. We will no troubles here … ” one injured dragon said, and the other hurt ones agreed.
Then Rudi stopped all the things, firmly. As he thought there’s no trouble anymore, some dragon blew him in the back from shadow dancing.
Despite enduring those attacks, Rudi was regretful in hurt feeling, for he trusted the words of deceits, again, in fact, even after knowing they can’t be trusted.
“My lesson is pride issue. Your lesson is forgiveness issue. ” Edwin commented, joked. “Yeah, I am back to life. ” Then he started to scorch the dragons near Rudi and himself, splashing the flames unto the other dragons. He raised his mace later, “Burn,” as he said, all the dragon ignited. Then Rudi breathed frost alcohols again unto them, as their skins burnt to crispy.
“Ahh… no… ”
“Now we trust you not. ” As Edwin said, he channeled flames again, then summoning three small size meteorites. As they landed, dragon got hurt faintly. “But this time, I slow my cook. ” He then summon a small “charcoal-like” flame under each dragon’s body, whether live or not, cooking. Fire burning sounds everywhere.
“Origin or extra crispy? Mon Ami? ” Edwin asked, joking.
“In this situation, Mr. chef, I have only one option. ” Rudi replied.
Rudi was recalling his time.
“Torture him. Torture him. ”
“He is evil and mean. I can tell by his appearance. Let’s prevent it before it even exists. ”
“He got problems. ”
“He is so annoying. ”
“He is my burden. ”
People yelled, around the cage, or simply a tiny hutch, where Rudi “lived” in. He was chained by several shackles and jesses. He wore a piece of cloth, if not nothing. He was damp, for people occasionally spited on him, and full of blood around the body, for people hurt him for fun, by any interesting weapons punishment instruments. Conventional people’s youth time is usually happy hours, but his isn’t, apparently, if not worse than torture.
“He deserves it. ”
“He is worst person I ever met. ”
“He might be clever, but he uses in wrong way. ”
“But what did he properly do wrong? ”
“I don’t know. “
“I don’t know either. But because he is a looser, it’s obviously his fault. ”
“Oh good point! “
“So. We don’t know the facts but who cares? ”
“Yeah. He deserves it. ”
“That’s not close enough. “
His arm and leg were obvious crippled, festered, and you don’t want to know why and how.
“Let him calm himself. ”
“He is so prideful. ”
“I hate his eyes. ”
“Something wrong in his head. ”
“He is so negative. ”
“So negative! “
All negativisms and sarcasms around him, ironically, people around him said Rudi is negative. He is calm and positive, yet called negative, by somebody spitting, hating, attacking, cursing, and torturing.
“Burn him in hell. ”
“We are already treating you pretty good, Rudi. You deserves it. ”
“Yeah, you don’t need face and dignity. You should be put to death. ”
“Yeah, so now you are already very lucky. You should thank! ”
“We are teaching you! “
So people also burnt him with fire or red-hot iron. When they did, Rudi could only calm him down, freezing the wounds, hurts, pains, injuries in his imagination. Blessed, he learnt great deals upon the tortures and punishments from his inner power of frost. He was too focus on his inner power, as to avoid being really hurt by those people around him. In addition, aye, ironically he really thanked and forgave those around him who tortured and taught him, somehow?! He didn’t know he was becoming a frost monk, and his flesh and bones were also turning profoundly —— Although no one cares.
In his dream, he remembered several dialogues with his closest fellows.
They said things like this:
“I am the one who concerns about you the most. “
“Thank you. And I respect that. “ Rudi replied.
“They despise you but I love you the most. “
“Ok. I love you too. But I don’t care what others said. No matter what happened, I forgive them. “ Rudi replied.
“No, You should hate them. You should have judgement. “
“I feel for you and it’s all her fault. I hate her for your past, you hate her, don’t you? “
“I don’t hate anyone. I forgave her. “ Rudi.
“Then you are fool. You don’t know what happened. “
“I knew what happened and I forgave her. But thank you. “ Rudi.
Despite this, all those guys told bad things behind Rudi’s back, ironically. He was the only one said only positive things, yet everybody backstabbed him.
“He is evil and mean. “
“How do you know. “ Rudi.
“I have judgement and you are dumb but don’t have judgement and nor do you know a thing. You were cheated, hoaxed, misled. I am teaching you. But you keep standing with him but not with me. You spoke more already, which is good, but not close enough. What is your judgement? “
“My judgement is that you and he should get alone with each other, trusting each other. Don’t think that way, despite its hardness. Don’t follow the bad feelings but the good faiths! Please. “ Rudi.
“You don’t know things. It’s impossible. I am different from him. He is mean, fake. “
“You are similar, for you both have good hearts, helping others. Just stop thinking that way. Love and care should be the only thing important. “ Rudi.
“Ok. Stop. “
Similar dialogues happened in another end in the pair. And between each different pair, similarities arose, too.
Ironically also, some of those pairs called Rudi the backstabber who alienates people?! “ How could they? But I can only forgive them… “ Rudi didn’t really understand that, for Rudi knew not the complexity of human natures. Sounds like he also lacks human natures. This also contributed his special ability: Reading The Airs, for he knew the natures in his own exclusive way, for lacking human natures also granted him peace of mind objectively to know the airs, and to “find the centre”.
Unfortunately, even though Rudi kept silent in other scenario, which he usually did, he got trouble, even more severely than said as such. Fortunately, this Reading The Air ability became his combat martial arts.
Like in our world, Jesus was the one under crucifixion, spits, for He hath no faults.
Of course Rudi is not Jesus, let alone presence in our world. He was a monk in his world. Maybe he was just extremely unwise, naïve, stupid brat. He doesn’t know. Only God knows.